**About Me★★
There's really not much to say honestly. My name is Courtnee. My birthday is on July 22nd. I like working on this site. Music is my favorite thing.Contact me through my guestbook if you have any questions or if you just want to say hi. Please be nice, don't start some shit on my guestbook. And whatever you believe in, don't shove it down my throat....

**Random Facts About Me★★
🌻 My favorite Smashing Pumpkins video is Rocket
🌻 My favorite season of Friends is season 10
🌻 I love joining internet cliques
🌻 My favorite South Park character is Butters
🌻 I love the rain

**Disclaimer★★
Sometimes I post depressing stuff or might come across as bitchy, but not to worry, it’s just my way of expressing my emotions. I can also be pretty nice to people who deserve it of course!

**Find me elsewhere ★★
🌧 last.fm
🌧 Bandcamp Collection
🌧 status.cafe

**Link me ★★
If you want to link me, you can use this button.

(made by maple ♡)

**Dislikes** ★★
my main and rant account, I normally don't add tw and cws, btspopper, NSFW, pls sb me if you're uncomfy

**Dislikes** ★★
my main and rant account, I normally don't add tw and cws, btspopper, NSFW, pls sb me if you're uncomfy

**BTS** ★★
my main and rant account, I normally don't add tw and cws, btspopper, NSFW, pls sb me if you're uncomfy

**Favorite People** ★★
my main and rant account, I normally don't add tw and cws, btspopper, NSFW, pls sb me if you're uncomfy

**Note** ★★
my main and rant account, I normally don't add tw and cws, btspopper, NSFW, pls sb me if you're uncomfy

**Blog Entries★★

{November 14th, 2024} @ 7:45 PM ☆

It's funny how much I can relate to this song....

People think you're tough,
but you only pretend to be.
A real man would live alone
and feel no pain, like me.
When your baby said she was leaving
you slapped yourself in the face.
You clung to her and cried
and cracked all over the place.
Because you're a weakling.
You're a suckling lamb.
You're not so tough.
You're just a man.
I was only talking when I said to you
whatever it was I said.
I didn't mean anything.
Just put it out of your head.
Now you look to me like I'm ready to give
but I only just wanted to play.
You're trying to cop a feeling
while I'm trying to get away.
You're a big guy, but you're cut down to size
when you're left all by yourself.
Well I'm not paid to babysit
and don't ask me to help.
Let go of me and fall
into the arms of another
I'm the wrong girl for you.
I'm not your mother.
I'm an island. I'm a rock.
My head's an emtpy mental block.
You can't get lovin' from a stone.
I ain't no goddam foster home.
You're a weakling.
You're a suckling lamb.
You're not so tough.
You're just a man.
You're a weak thing.
Just a little lamb.
You're not so tough.
You're just like a woman.
Anything you can do I can do better
Girls will do it all without the aid of a mother.
Anything you can do I can do better
Girls will do it all without the aid of a mother.
Anythign you can do I can do do.
I'm not your mother. I'm not your mother.

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{November 9th, 2024} @ 5:33 PM ☆

I've been listening to Juliana Hatfield lately, because I crave authenticity in music. Oh yeah, this post is gonna be pretentious. Get ready for it. I just miss when musicians - mainstream musicians - looked just like regular people and actually had personalities. No over-the-top bullcrap, no gimmicks. What happened to that? Is it because everyone nowadays just an attention-seeker? I mean, if you're an attention-seeker, at least have some interesting personalities. Why do they not care about having authentic personalities? It always rubs me the wrong way seeing all these "attractive" people that have bland personalities. It scares me even. I hope that never happens to me.
Anyways, I think my first Juliana Hatfield song was My Sister. This song is clearly written about me! Us older sisters who have younger sisters must know how it feels for them (little sisters) to annoy us, following us around, copying everything we do, and wanna know why? Because they adore us and want to be like us; if we're actually cool, though. Not just some posers, lol. And yeah, of course our sisters will never admit it, that would be too embarrassing. I don't have a brother so I don't know if they also do it to their older siblings? I'd like to think that they do. But let me know.
Back then I used to think if I had an older sibling and be in a position of a little sister, would I do the same? Eh, I'd probably do, since I'm adoring Juliana Hatfield here, if that makes sense. lol. But nah, I was destined to be the cool older sister.
This song is about a younger sister adoring her older and cooler sister. "She's good at everything and doesn't even try". Spot on....
And I'm sure you know that Juliana Hatfield doesn't have an older sister. She's the only girl between brothers as her siblings. It's about her brother's at the time girlfriend and she adores her (obviously). Oh, you didn't know that? Well, now you know. Thank your older sister for that....
Another cool fact about Juliana Hatfield is that she's over Twitter. Yeah, we all know that place is an internet hellhole. She's just on Instagram now, and even though it's just as toxic if you don't use your brain to curate the content on your feed, I think it's a bit better.
-
Other videos:
:: Juliana Hatfield - My Sister (Acoustic)
:: Juliana Hatfield - Supermodel - not about sister.... but this is more about, the influencer culture. Crazy that it's still relevant to this day, or does humanity have always been that way?
:: Juliana Hatfield - What a Life (Live at Reading 1995) - I really like this version of "What a Life"
:: Juliana Hatfield - I See You

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{November 1st, 2024} @ 10:47 PM ☆

Just a random blog post for today. First of all, happy November. Second of all, my job sucked and I'm so glad that I finally quit! Everyone seemed surprised that I quit because I heard that this was the first time someone actually resigned from the company. The others who left usually got cut off. Well, just because you're paying me, that doesn't mean you can abuse and treat me like shit, ok? And it's a small company anyway.
I'm actually proud of myself for doing this. The first time I quit my job, I felt kinda guilty because the work environment was okay enough for me to stay. This time, I actually feel happy and relieved for quitting. Some say it's because I got out of something toxic, and that actually makes sense. And apologies for my ignorance, but back then I couldn't 100% relate to all the memes or experiences of being in a toxic workplace, I just hoped that I never get to experience it. Well, it finally happened to me, and I hope to never experience it ever again.
I remember my first week there, I saw all my colleagues had this.... miserable look on their faces? Nobody there actually laughed, smiled, had light conversations, and having fun! Okay, I have to admit there should be at least a little fun at work for me to survive, but no, these people always think about work and stressing out about it. Even when we were on a freaking lunch break! Geezus. Maybe I should've known this was a first red flag! But back then I was still trying to be positive, because, hey, it was my first week there! But nah, my institutions were right. My intuitions are ALWAYS right. Damn. It's like, my superpower or something.

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{October 25th, 2024} @ 3:42 PM ☆

So today I almost went crazy, hehehe. Actually, that's too much. I was going crazy looking for this compilation. I went on YouTube but nobody has put the whole compilation, whether as a playlist or one big video. I mean, I could look up the tracklist on Discogs and put up the playlist myself but I was too lazy to do it.... I then asked for a download link on an Emo Discord server, but most of the members are in the US I think, so nobody read my message yet.
.... Only to find out that I actually already have access to this compilation! So for some reason I bookmarked this link of various emo compilations, and one of them is The First Crush Compilation. Hell yeah. I downloaded it right away, of course. I deleted my Discord message, because that would be embarrassing.... what if I actually got that link from that server? I think everyone would shit on me with things like "do your research first" haha. But they're all so nice, I don't think they would do something childish like that.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I actually found a download link on an emo blog called For Ivadell. Unfortunately, the link is dead and the blog hasn't been updated for years. What a shame.
I also found a proper download link for the (Don't Forget to) Breath compilation, so I don't have to listen to it via YouTube anymore. Cool.
If you want these compilations or the link, message me on my guestbook :-)

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{October 25th, 2024} @ 2:18 AM ☆

Wow, long time no see, eh? Sorry, things have been hard and I've been pretty depressed.... But don't worry about me, I can manage. Anyways, onto the things that made me happy today....
Found a really cool blog, record label, and 2 compilations from that label.
Yeah, yeah. Emo, emo, emo. You're right!
First I found this blog because they posted a My Bloody Valentine CD on YouTube - I was interested in the "A bit different sounding than whatever version is on streaming. I personally like this one better." part - and there's a blog link in the description, so I clicked and here we are. There's also some posts about emo which is awesome.
Then through that blog I found out about Crank! where apparently, Hazel by Far Apart (one of the best emo songs, EVER) is in one of their compilations. So I decided to just download the whole thing. Didn't regret it. Very impressive. Sick bands, as well.
And through that, I also found out about their other compilation called (don't forget to) breath, which is a much better compilation in my opinion. I couldn't find a download link, but don't worry, it's on YouTube! A raw/unpolished/rough version of Elektra by Hot Water music is in this compilation. You will love it. And did you know that The Appleseed Cast initially sent their tape to Crank! but got rejected? But the guy from Deep Elm called and you know the rest is history....
Well, I think that's all for now. I'm gonna head off to browse all these emo record labels old sites through the Wayback Machine, that has been back. Woohoo! Nobody should mess with that site.... hopefully no more hacking issues. That would be so shitty.

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{September 8th, 2024} @ 5:17 PM ☆

Well don't call me a poser just yet. I've recently found myself loving emo and hardcore music, which is pretty ironic considering I used to reject them when I was younger. Karma is a bitch, ain't it?I can't remember exactly how I stumbled upon them, but I'm pretty sure it started with the blog Sophie's Floorboard. If you're a cool emo kid who has/had fair share of music pirating, you're probably familiar with it. Heh. I thought the blog name sounded cool and well the blog IS cool. Just by reading some of the posts, seeing some pictures there, I know that these bands are fantastic (most of them at least) - without even hearing the music (well I just have that strong instinct, ya know)! I think I found out about Ribbon Fix through Sophie's Floorboard.Then I think I remember someone on Instagram was promoting this online radio show called Sadder Star. And what do you know? An online emo radio show, hosted by a girl! Woohoo! It quickly became one of my favorite * new * things. I try to listen to every one of her show, thank god for the archive! Found out a lot of great bands and tracks through SS.I've been in like, 3 active emo Discord servers, as a silent reader of course, only talking for a bit, heh. They're all really good for discovering new music and meeting like-minded people. And also, bookmarking some wonderful emo blogs. Gotta keep that emo fix coming...Currently listening to: Everyone Asked About You - Paper Airplanes, Paper HeartsSome actual certified emo bangers:
:: Ribbon Fix - Sunset In Reverse
:: Ribbon Fix - One Last Cigarette
:: Ribbon Fix - Gunner
:: Breakwater - Five
:: Endive - 10,000 Dead Red Roses
:: Endive - Rabbits
:: Far Apart - Hazel - nice music video, though not official
:: Eldritch Anisette - Pessimism Goes To Work

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{August 18th, 2024} @ 10:42 PM ☆

I'm a little bit late, but UltraCopacetic is OUT! Finally. I've been listening to it and I love it! Yeah, sure, it's clearer and more polished, I suppose, but it's refreshing to hear this new remix of Copacetic. Also, they've included some "rarities" (if you could call them that) and of course their Peel session tracks! I absolutely adore them.
Copacetic is also the album that reminds me of that chill time I had when I started working at my first job about 2 years ago. And by that I mean the original 1993 Copacetic. I think I'm going to listen to the original album when it fits a certain mood, if that makes sense. Nothing can replace the classic. Well, I love them both, the new one and the original one. Go grab the physical copy, if you can, and you're one of the lucky ones.
P.S. Sub Pop has the HQ version of Crazy Town on their Youtube channel - I've been waiting for this. Go check it out!

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{July 31st, 2024} @ 10:49 PM ☆

Well, here's a short blog entry for you. I have two songs talking about the sun, they are my favorites. Whenever a song talks about the sun, it always relates to something poetic, which I love...:: Smile - Staring At The Sun
:: Dark Star - I Am the Sun

"I'm stupid for you, inner-space-man-angel"
I should've cut the crap there, but I was drinking too much(Then she said)
"Joan Of Arc was cool, but she got burned
Like I'm burning out for you, I'm centrifugal
I am the sun, I am the sun, I am the sun, I am..."We had a minor adventure, took a ride in her car - ended up in a forest somewhere
She took the keys and threw them in the ditch, disappeared into the mud and pitch
I must've walked the world that night until dawn, but she's gone.

Also, here's a bonus track. Although it's not a song about the sun.

:: Sparkler - Hey Long Hair ::

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{July 21st, 2024} @ 4:07 PM ☆

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been busy. Tomorrow I will start my third week of work, and tomorrow is also my birthday. Instead of feeling excited, I feel more anxious. I feel like I can't do anything and just want to get hit by a truck or something. Is that normal? I really don't know how to feel... I just hope that I can get through it and be really good at it. Also, I don't know what I'm gonna do on my birthday. I will probably just work. Haha. I want more exciting things. Life's getting boring. Oh, and I've been thinking about my old crush from elementary school, so from way way back. I looked him up and it's not like, he's getting cuter or anything. But it's kinda weird because about 2 weeks ago I had a dream about him. Huh.

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{July 7th, 2024} @ 4:38 AM ☆

Today I wanted to talk about one of my favorite albums; Copacetic by Velocity Girl. I first listened to this album in November of 2022. I had just arrived in London, and it was raining. I was listening to Spotify and one of the tracks from this album came on. How fitting. I thought it was a good sign. I fell in love with this album. I also have this perfume that I associate with this album, and it is my favorite perfume. I just bought a new one. The combination of Copacetic and that perfume reminds me of that peaceful time in 2022 that I will probably never get back. Also, it has been raining heavily this past week, and heavy rain always reminds me of Copacetic.
On more exciting news about Copacetic, a reissue called "UltraCopacetic" will be released next month. I'm so excited. I wish I could have the physical copy of it, but listening on streaming would be enough for me.

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{July 5th, 2024} @ 8:23 AM ☆
Found some really great links today... most of them (ok, maybe all of them) are dead links and are only available to see using the Wayback Machine, so have fun!
:: spiritsoardreaming : a guide to dreampop and shoegazer music
:: DreamPop Links
:: april skies : the jesus and mary chain fansite
:: Velocity Girl @ Sub Pop

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{July 5th, 2024} @ 7:01 AM ☆
So I got back from America on Monday, and currently experiencing a jet lag. I went to California and visited some cities/towns there (Los Angeles, San Diego, Vista, and Carlsbad, as far as I remember lol). California (especially LA) was exactly how I imagined it to be. It was fun, just that I had some stupid drama with my narcissistic mom, but hey, I wouldn't pass a trip to the US just for that silly little thing, even though I would much rather travel by myself, or with my dad, because he's a much better person (sorry I'm bias). Anyway, I'm pretty excited about starting my new job on Monday. I get to escape home for a little while, so yay. And speaking of America, I don't know if I would want to live there, it's a fun place to travel though, but I don't know, man... and I hope this jet lag thing will be over soon because if it's still happening when I'm working, I'm fucked.

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{June 17th, 2024} @ 9:46 AM ☆
I guess you could call this... a post-ception? Crossposting? Well, anyway, I was reading this post on komakino fanzine about the movie Half-Cocked (1994), and while not caring much about the movie, I pay more attention to the soundtrack because of Polvo and Helium, and other badass bands. And thankfully, I Hate The 90s has the album. I'm currently listening to it, and yes, it is fantastic. Will I go see the movie? I don't know... It looks cool though.

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{June 15th, 2024} @ 9:35 PM ☆
Just feel like updating the blog... heh. Today was pretty good, I was in a good mood pretty much the whole day. Also, it was raining today, which I freaking love.
Today I found out that Incubus put out the 23rd anniversary edition of Morning View... saw it on Spotify, decided to check it out. They titled it "Morning View XXIII" to make it look cooler I guess. Incubus was the band that I kinda forgot about. I loved them back then, and I put up a "Morning View Sessions" playlist on Spotify, based on an... unplugged session they did? I don't even remember! But anyway, back to the 23rd anniversary edition of Morning View. I listened to the first track expecting a remastered version or something.... but no, I think they re-recorded it because the vocals sounded different, and I'm not really into it. So I'm just listening to the original album right now, for nostalgia's sake! Hehe. But I don't know, I'll probably listen to the 23rd anniversary edition later. Maybe. Also, why 23rd? Why not 20th, or 25th?

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{June 6th, 2024} @ 11:07 PM ☆
Found out about bearblog today. Interesting stuff... maybe I'll use it someday, but for now I'm just gonna stick to this page for blogging. And I'll link it on my link page.

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{June 4nd, 2024} @ 12:56 AM ☆
Check out this button I made using sadgrl's button maker.

Maybe one day I'll make a proper button for this site. Or maybe someone would kindly donate a button? :O)

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{June 3nd, 2024} @ 4:47 PM ☆
I still think about that young Hole fan who died in an accident in 2001 occasionally. She was only 21~22. I was looking at her journal and clearly everything looked normal and she didn't know what was coming for her. And she died in the same month, on around the 20s I think. It's incredibly sad.

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{June 2nd, 2024} @ 10:46 PM ☆
I wanted to see what status.cafe was all about after seeing a widget on someone's Neocities page. I tried to register and I was told to activate my account through a link they sent to my email. I never got it, and it's been 2~3 days now, and I have checked everywhere, so I can't even log in to my account, and I can't contact an admin or customer service. The forum only lets you post only if you can log in to your account. Nobody's posting anything on Twitter, Google, Reddit, nothing! If anyone knows anything about it, please let me know. Thanks.

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{May 30th, 2024} @ 6:25 PM ☆
Today I purchased two compilations on Bandcamp. Sampler 1: Records For The Working Class and Sampler 2: Records For The Working Class 2. They're supposed to be free because Deep Elm is cool like that... but I felt like supporting them because they're one of my favorite labels. So get on there and get your own copy my friend...

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{May 28th, 2024} @ 10:56 PM ☆
Oh man, I can't stop listening to this song, or should I say, part of the song? Because it's not the full song. And let's be real, the first half of the song is boring af. lol. I don't know if that video will work in every part of the world, because sometimes it doesn't. Well, you know what to do. I wish Billie would make more songs like that. Damn, it's so good.

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{May 28th, 2024} @ 2:26 PM ☆
Great news everyone; I got a new job and it's a remote job with a decent pay! So it's basically my dream job. I just gotta get through the probation period and then I'll be all set. I hope everything goes well and I don't fuck things up, heh. Because you know I tend to do that.In other news, I'll be flying to the US before I start my new job. This doesn't have anything to do with the job, just a tiny lil holiday. I'm not sure if we're going to NY or CA, but probably CA. I was kinda hoping that we'd go to NY but oh well. I've never been to the US anyway so that's pretty exciting. Life does get better! You just gotta be patient...

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{May 27th, 2024} @ 10:36 PM ☆
Well this is officially my first blog entry on faded morning. I don't have much to blog about, just that I'm in the process of moving everything from my Tumblr to here. So yeah. Also, I'm still contemplating whether or not I should put a cliques page on this site since I'm not sure if it's possible for me to do that? I'll probably have to find a tutorial for that.And here's song of the day for you: Broken Hearts Are Blue - Because I Am

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**Cliques & Adoptions★★The cool clubs I'm in...

★★Image links★★

★★Text links★★

scented // tiramisu

My song is AUDREY'S EYES

This Barbie is a 1990s lover!

aromatic // coffee

My favorite beverage is Hazelnut Latte

My girls are Tear in Your Hand and Past the Mission

caffeineNATION ☕︎ vanilla latte

protected by Sailor Moon!

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**For Bill★★for William...

★★TODAY★★Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get outI wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving faceToday is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get outPink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stingsToday is
Today is
Today is
The greatest dayI want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn youToday is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known

I'm thinking of you, Bill. I miss you so much ♡

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